Sex Smokes Baseball and Notre Dame

Not often does a video make me say WTF.  Sure, there is the oddball Japanese vid or maybe BumFights, but seldom does one really blow me away.

Then there is this Jem – From 1995 over on Deadspin -

Setting – Fenway Park, mid-90s.  Two girls and a guy in an ND Shirt.  Since this is Smokes and Booze, they are smoking in the stadium (allowed back then)………..the rest, well click HERE and watch the video. 

I was unable to embed this vid, so the link will take you to Deadspin.  PLUS, the video may be offensive to some….you have been warned.

Do 5 Hail Mary's and a shot of St Brendan’s

Its not very often that a somewhat “No Name” unseats an industrial standard, but I think I have found one of those instances.

When you think of Irish Cream – Obviously, the first name that pops into your head is Baileys, and rightfully so.  It is mass marketed everywhere, it is a hit around the holidays and is something anyone can drink at any time.  It is smooth, delicious and great during Notre Dame Football Season.  It IS Irish Cream.

That is, until now.

Entering the arena is Saint Brendan’s – a relatively low cost ($15-$18) substitute that I think is actually a better product to the competition.

The brand takes it’s name from Saint Brendan of Clonfert (or Bréanainn of Clonfert)- an Irish Saint who was sometimes known as "the Navigator", "the Voyager", or "the Bold", one of the early Irish monastic saints and considered to be one of  the Twelve Apostles of Ireland. 

Not only do they take the name from an Irish Saint, but their focus is using primarily Irish ingredients.  It is one of these ingredients that I believe makes the difference with St. Brendan’s.

With Baileys, most of the alcohol is produced from a bacterial fermentation of whey. The alcohol - referred to as 'spirits' on the company website - and cream, together with some whiskey are homogenized to form an emulsion, with the aid of an emulsifier containing refined vegetable oil. This process prevents separation of the alcohol and cream during storage. 

While I am sure that Saint Brendan’s uses a similar process, I think it is the quality of ingredients that makes the difference.  A major clue to that quality can be found on the company website -

Our triple distilled Irish whiskey is crafted just steps from the Giant's Causeway on the northern coast of Ireland in the world's oldest distillery.

Without a doubt, this is the Old Bushmill’s distillery.  As someone who has toured this distillery, witnessed the production and sampled more than my fair share…..this to me is 100% why I enjoyed this Irish Cream and I also believes it adds its own unique tastes. 

Another interesting side note – Bushmills is owned by the same holding company (Diageo) as Baileys.  So I guess Diageo is hedging it’s bets.

Color- A light almond

Nose- To say “It smells like Baileys” would be a cop out .  I found it more complex, with Mocha, Chocolate, Honey and sweet cream.

Taste- From the initial creamy texture, you get a front end of sweetness that flows into the mild Irish Whisky base.  The whisky is not overwhelming, and this is what (IMO) could be alluring to women and non-drinkers.  Hazelnut, Chocolate and hints of roasted Coffee round out the balanced profile.

Finish-Smooth and a little viscous, there was no alcohol aftertaste, but instead it reminded me of drinking a latte.

Overall- What can I say.  I was surprised.  When I initially picked up this bottle, I thought it was going to be just a cheap Baileys knock off (especially considering the price).  Little did I realize I was going to get a solid contender that I believe unseats Baileys as the king of Irish Cream.  

Excellent excellent product.  Solid 4 Stars.

Sláinte -

When Twitter Attacks

I love this story.

Not because someone used social media to criticize a service/establishment, I do that all the time and think that is turning into standard practice, but of the the woman's final tweet saying-

“she exited the restaurant "in tears after the GM called up and asked the bartender to hand me the phone.”

Hey people, there ARE consequences to saying negative things.  In the immortal words of Spiderman – With Great Power comes Great Responsibility. 

I say some negative things all the time (just read yesterday’s Bloody Mary Mix review), but I also will stand by it and accept any consequences.  Hell, I might have even been threatened.

Grow some thick skin lady….its not worth crying about.

BTW, you can follow us on Twitter @Smokesandbooze

Cheers

Insulting Restaurant Staff On Twitter While You're Still In The Restaurant Might Get You Kicked Out Of Restaurant

Think of this as the counter-point to the earlier Twitter-related post. A diner at a Houston restaurant was given the boot after she decided to Tweet her opinion of the staff while she was still at the eatery.

According to the restaurant's owner, a manager was checking out Twitter from home when he saw a Tweet from the customer calling the establishment's bartender a "twerp." The Houston Press reports that she also used the hashtag #jackoff in her since-deleted Tweet. The manager called the restaurant to speak to the diner and then told her to leave.

"Any business is allowed to set the tone of their establishment," explains the restaurant's owner to KPRC-TV. "If you go to someone's house and start calling them names, I wouldn't really expect to stay too much longer after that."

The booted diner took to Twitter once more as she was leaving, saying she exited the restaurant "in tears after the GM called up and asked the bartender to hand me the phone. He proceeded to curse at me and ask me to leave."

Worst Product of the Year?

Not very often do I go on a tirade.  Well, ok….sometimes I do.  Today is one of those days.

Remember back when you were a little kid?  The world was full of  wonder, magic was real and nobody was tougher than your Dad.

Remember going through comic books and seeing the ads that promised never ending fun – Boxes of Army men, 12' Weather Balloons, Charles Atlas.  It all seemed so real. 

Remember Sea-Monkeys?

I sure do. 

I also remember the disappointment of learning they were brine shrimp, that they didn’t really have crown heads and smile, and that the only thing they were good for was to feed Dad’s fish.  What a waste.

Flash forward to Debi and I going to Vegas a few years ago.  The hotel we stayed at had a great Bloody Mary bar, that she brought me drinks out of.  She went to great lengths to find the perfect one for me, you could put together any imaginable combination, and the one I liked best was made with Wasabi.  I love my wife.

Now, as many of you know….I like flavors –Hops, Peat, Burn – they all are what I strive for.  From drinking Prairie Fires with Glenn way back in the 80s to laying on the spicy when I go for Chinese.  That is the way I roll. 

Flash forward to present day (just past the good Bloody Mary bar at the Rams game), and this review.

Modmix Wasabi Bloody Mary Mix

I really don’t know where to go with this review other than to say this product sucked.  I’m again taken back to my childhood, when Wendy’s ran the “Where's the Beef?” commercial.

Where’s the Wasabi? 

The company’s own website says “a snap of real Japanese Wasabi”, but I didn’t get it.  I honestly thought I was drinking stale V8.  Actually, stale V8 tastes better.  

A thick mess that lacked any flavor or “Zing”, I really thought my palette was off.

I gave James a sip (of just the mix, no alcohol added) and he said “Tastes like weak Tomato Juice”.  When an 9 year old thinks your mix is weak….its time for ModMix to  think of a new profession.

I won’t go into much more here.  I won’t divulge the Vodka I was using, as I don’t want to sully their name or associate it here.

I will admit that I tried mixing two separate drinks, and both were horrible….so much so that I poured the 2nd out and didn’t finish it.  For people that know me….they know that is a testament in it’s own right.

I could rip this product apart on so many levels, but I won’t….because that would require me to drink more of it.  Instead, suffice it to say – Weakest “Spicy” Mixer ever, ZERO Stars and currently the leading candidate for Worst Product of the Year.

I realize that there will be people that love this mixer, but if you want my opinion -Avoid at all costs, go with Major Peters or the Tabasco Mixers instead.

This Day in History Aug 17 1987

Rudolf Hess found hanged by an electrical cord at Spandau Prison, aged 93. He was incarcerated there for 40 years, 21 of those years as the solitary inmate. In 1941 Hess flew to Scotland with ideas of peace in his head, making Hitler very very upset.

Why does this make the blog “Smokes and Booze”? – Hang in there, there is a payoff.

Rudolf Hess was a prominent Nazi politician who was Adolf Hitler's deputy in the Nazi Party during the 1930s and early 1940s, was an SA commander during the failed Beer Hall Putsch (but that doesn’t qualify him here), transcribed Mein Kampf for Hitler and eventually rose the rank of Deputy Fuhrer.

What brings him up today on S&B happened later in his life. 

During the later parts of WW2, Hess privately hoped that he could convince Britain to join Germany as an ally.  So on the  10th of  May 1941, Hess (a competent flier) took off from Augsburg in a Messerschmitt Bf 110 (radio code VJ+OQ) which he had equipped with drop tanks to increase its range.  He later crashed his plane and demanded to see the Duke of Hamilton.

Hess was tried at Nuremburg and was given a life sentence, that ended on this day in history when he committed suicide.

What links Hess to S&B is not the man himself, but where he chose to steal his Messerschmitt from;  Gablingen Field, Augsburg Germany.

You see, Gablingen Airfield was captured by the Americas at the close of WW2 and later converted to a Military Intelligence Station for monitoring electronic traffic during the Cold War.   The large “Elephant Cage” Antenna (a FLR-9) was the most prominent (and talked about) feature of the base.

When I arrived in 1992 to work on Trojan Classic and Trojan Spirit as a government contractor, we had offices in what affectionately called “The Back 40” – First in abandoned buildings in a compound within a compound, left over from WW2, and later in in the last remaining (of two) hangers left over from that faithful day  on 10 May 1941. 

Again, even my crazy ties to this story (and I wont even get into “The Vagabond Series” with Glenn and Jeremy – That is a whole 10-15 different blog posts) are not what brings this to S&B.

Instead, we go to a brewery – Thorbräu, one of the oldest breweries in Germany, founded in 1582 in Augsburg, Bavaria.  You see, beer is such a part of German culture that everyone drank all the time.  In many cases, there German Contractors/Soldiers on the bases, and once the Military went “Dry” at lunch during the 80’s, the Germans still had a right to drink during the day.  Since Gablingen was a Military Intelligence installation, it had to have items specially vetted prior to bringing on base…..and so Thorbräu had a special beer made for the installation, believed to be the only one of its kind.  The label even depicted the secret base and it’s trademark antenna.

As Paul Harvey would say – And now….you know the rest of the story.

Jump over to the S&B Facebook Page for some pictures of Gablingen (Then and Now)

The 86 Rules of Drinking

1. If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during happy hour.
2. Always toast before doing a shot.
3. Whoever buys the shot gets the first chance to offer a toast.
4. Change your toast at least once a month.
5. Buying someone a drink is five times better than a handshake.
6. Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb.
7. Never borrow more than one cigarette from the same person in one night.
8. When the bartender is slammed, resist the powerful urge to order a slightly-dirty, very-dry, in-and-out, super-chilled half-and-half martini with a lemon twist. Limit orders to beer, straight shots and two-part cocktails.
9. Get the bartender's attention with eye contact and a smile.
10. Do not make eye contact with the bartender if you do not want a drink.
11. Unacceptable things to say after doing a shot: Great, now I'm going to get drunk. I hate shots. It's coming back up.
12. Never, ever tell a bartender he made your drink too strong.
13. If he makes it too weak, order a double next time. He'll get the message.
14. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she refuses, she does not like you.
15. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she accepts, she still might not like you.
16. If she buys you a drink, she likes you.
17. If someone offers to buy you a drink, do not upgrade your liquor preference.
18. Always have a corkscrew in your house.
19. If you don't have a corkscrew, push the cork down into the bottle with a pen.
20. Drink one girly drink in public and you will forever be known as the guy who drinks girly drinks.
21. Our parents were better drinkers than we are.
22. Never talk to someone in the restroom unless you're doing the same thing—urinating, waiting in line or washing your hands.
23. Girls hang out, apply make-up, and have long talks in the bathroom. Men do not.
24. After your sixth drink, do not look at yourself in the mirror. It will shake your confidence.
25. It is only permissible to shout 'woo-hoo!' if you are doing a shot with four or more people.
26. If there is a d.j., you can request a song only once per night. If he doesn't play it within half an hour, do not approach him again. If he does play it, do not approach him again.
27. Learn how to make a rose out of a bar napkin. You'll be surprised how well it works.
28. If you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to drink in a bar. Go to the liquor store.
29. If you owe someone twenty dollars or less, you may pay them back in beer.
30. Never complain about the quality or brand of a free drink.
31. If you have been roommates with someone more than six months, you may drink all their beer, even if it's hidden, as long as you leave them one.
32. You can have a shot of their hard liquor only if the cap has been cracked and the bottle goes for less than $25.
33. The only thing that tastes better than free liquor is stolen liquor.
34. If you bring Old Milwaukee to a party, you must drink at least two cans before you start drinking the imported beer in the fridge.
35. Learn to appreciate hangovers. If it was all good times every jackass would be doing it.
36. If you ever feel depressed, get out a bartender's guide and browse through all the drinks you've never tried.
37. Try one new drink each week.
38. If you are the bar's sole customer, you are obliged to make small talk with the bartender until he stops acknowledging you. Then you're off the hook. The same goes for him.
39. Never tip with coins that have touched you. If your change is $1.50, you can tell the barmaid to keep the change, but once she has handed it to you, you cannot give it back. To a bartender or cocktail waitress, small change has no value.
40. If you have ever told a bartender, "Hey, it all spends the same," then you are a cheap ass.
41. Anyone on stage or behind a bar is fifty percent better looking.
42. You can tell how hard a drinker someone is by how close they keep their drink to their mouth.
43. A bar is a college, not a nursery. If you spill a beer, clean it up. If you break a glass, wait for a staff member to clean it up, then blame it on someone else.
44. Being drunk is feeling sophisticated without being able to say it.
     
45. It's okay to drink alone.
46. After three drinks, you will forget a woman's name two seconds after she tells you. The rest of the night you will call her "baby" or "darling".
47. Nothing screams 'nancy boy' louder than swirling an oversized brandy snifter.
48. Men don't drink from straws. Unless you're doing a Mind or Face Eraser.
49. If you do a shot, finish it. If you don't plan to finish it, don't accept it.
50. Never brood in a dance bar. Never dance in a dive bar.
51. Never play more than three songs by the same artist in a row.
52. Your songs will come on as you're leaving the bar.
53. Never yell out jukebox selections to someone you don't know.
54. Never lie in a bar. You may, however, grossly exaggerate and lean.
55. If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are slurring a lot. If you think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English.
56. Screaming, "Someone buy me a drink!" has never worked.
57. For every drink, there is a five percent better chance you will get in a fight. There is also a three percent better chance you will lose the fight.
58. Fighting an extremely drunk person when you are sober is hilarious.
59. If you are broke and a friend is "sporting you", you must laugh at all his jokes and play wingman when he makes his move.
60. If you are broke and a friend is "making sport of you", you may steal any drink he leaves unattended.
61. Never rest your head on a table or bar top. It is the equivalent of voluntarily putting your head on a chopping block.
62. If you are trading rounds with a friend and he asks if you're ready for another, always say yes. Once you fall out of sync you will end up buying more drinks than him.
63. If you're going to hit on a member of the bar staff, make sure you tip well before and after, regardless of her response.
64. The people with the most money are rarely the best tippers.
65. Before you die, single-handedly make one decent martini.
66. Asking a bartender what beers are on tap when the handles are right in front of you is the equivalent of saying, "I'm an idiot."
67. Never ask a bartender "what's good tonight?" They do not fly in the scotch fresh from the coast every morning.
68. If there is a line for drinks, get your goddamn drink and step the hell away from the bar.
69. If there is ever any confusion, the fuller beer is yours.
70. The patrons at your local bar are your extended family, your fathers and mothers, your brothers and sisters. Except you get to sleep with these sisters. And if you're really drunk, the mothers.
71. It's acceptable, traditional in fact, to disappear during a night of hard drinking. You will appear mysterious and your friends will understand. If they even notice.
72. Never argue your tab at the end of the night. Remember, you're hammered and they're sober. It's akin to a precocious five-year-old arguing the super-string theory with a physicist. 99.9% of the time you're wrong and either way you're going to come off as a jackass.
73. If you bring booze to a party, you must drink it or leave it.
74. If you hesitate more than three seconds after the bartender looks at you, you do not deserve a drink.
75. Beer makes you mellow, champagne makes you silly, wine makes you dramatic, tequila makes you felonious.
76. The greatest thing a drunkard can do is buy a round of drinks for a packed bar.
77. Never preface a conversation with a bartender with "I know this is going to be a hassle, but . . ."
78. When you're in a bar and drunk, your boss is just another guy begging for a fat lip. Unless he's buying.
79. If you are 86'd, do not return for at least three months. To come back sooner makes it appear no other bar wants you.
80. Anyone with three or more drinks in his hands has the right of way.
81. If you're going to drink on the job, drink vodka. It's the no-tell liquor.
82. There's nothing wrong with drinking before noon. Especially if you're supposed to be at work.
83. The bar clock moves twice as fast from midnight to last call.
84. A flask engraved with a personal message is one of the best gifts you can ever give. And make sure there's something in it.
85. On the intimacy scale, sharing a quiet drink is between a handshake and a kiss.
86. You will forget every one of these rules by your fifth drink.

--Frank Kelly Rich

Just for Randy–Hemingway Daiquiri

I’m torn on Cuba.  I realize there is lots history there between our two countries, and I understand the embargo (although it is somewhat dated – ala Apartheid in South Africa).  I just wish Castro would hurry up and die so we can just annex it and create another state.  This stops the immigration, opens up the tobacco fields and creates a new tourist location for Americans. 

The story below should be particularly interesting to Randy….and I officially name him Ambassador representing Smokes and Booze in negotiations to gain access into the bar.  Also, after the jump is a great vid on how to make a Hemingway Daiquiri -

Hemingway Bar: Cuba's Clever Daiquiri Diplomacy

Small scoop, but on October 6th, the Cuban Interests Section (aka, the Cuban Embassy if we ever get back to normalizing relations) will launch a clever bit of public diplomacy by opening "Hemingway's Bar."

Of course, one has to be invited as the bar is on Cuba's side of the line inside its sort-of-embassy, and my hunch is that some will make the list and others won't. Sorry Ileana (and Mario).

And as commerce can't change hands between Americans and Cubans -- the drinks will be free. I plan to go and will want a "Hemingway Daiquiri" -- double the rum, and no sugar.

To read more of the article – Click HERE

Hemingway Daiquiri