Politically Incorrect Booze Ads

 

Ahhhh….the good old days.  Some of these are pretty funny (I am particularly fond of the last one) and I doubt very few of them could run today. 

 

 

 

 

Whiskey Toothpaste?????

What???  I want this product sooooooooooooo bad.   I wonder what it does for a breathalyzer?

Countdown to fun

Today is the last day of work for me (although I will probably work a partial UK Hour set on Friday) until Tuesday.

Starting Friday, I am taking Debi for a weekend in Paris and then over to London for a few days while I attend a workshop with my UK Team.

I know she is really excited and is looking forward to the trip, and I have to admit…this has got to be a better trip than the last time I was in Paris.

So Posts might be few and far between next week, but I plan on updating as much as possible….including via Twitter (to which there is a feed on the right ----------> ).

Follow along as we sample some Wines, Beers and whatever else comes our way (hopefully Absinthe).

And until I return to the US…..Cheers.

I leave you with a fitting picture CT sent me this morning……

Friends of Laphroaig

Ok, I am a shill for free stuff.  If a company wants to send me swag, I am more than willing to stand on my head to get it. 

From the Free Tasting Kit from Killian’s, to everything that Maker’s Mark sends with their Ambassador program…..I dig that stuff.

This weekend, I noticed the little flier for “Friends of Laphroaig” in my whiskey tube, so I checked it out.

First, the flier itself is pretty good…with tasting notes and a little history.  But what really caught my eye…

FREE YOUR OWN SQUARE FOOT OF ISLAY

I was hooked.

Logging onto Laphroaig’s site was easy, and clicking the “Friends” tab brought you to the right area.  Here you have to put in the UPC symbol from the tube and a little personal information from and that was it. 

I was a land owner.

I have even reached out to my “Neighbors” to see if we can expand Smokes and Booze even further.

In addition to the above, every time you buy a bottle of Laphroaig, the same pamphlet I mentioned earlier has a unique code.  Put that code in and you get 10 point.  Accumulate points…..get prizes.  So not only do I get to drink my favorite booze, but I get a reward for it as well.

Man……I love this company.

I guess you shouldn't sell beer in a museum

How else does a drunken man get there?

On this day in history, February 7, 1845, the Portland Vase was shattered by William Lloyd, who drunkenly threw a nearby sculpture on top of the case smashing both it and the vase. The vase was pieced together with fair success, though the restorer was unable to replace all of the pieces and thirty-seven small fragments were lost. It appears they had been put into a box and forgotten.

How to light a cigarette

How to light a cigarette with an AK-47. Man, this is right up there with using a 3-Drawer Chest to open beer.

My first interview…….James

As many of you know…I have the worlds greatest son, James.

For Christmas, Santa brought the family a box of retro candy (also found HERE on Amazon).  Contained therein were Candy Cigarettes, plus bubble gum cigars and cigarettes.

James got hold of the bubblegum cigar in the flash of an eye (he is my son), but I was able to snatch up the others for a later date when they would be more memorable.

Me: Good evening James, I’m going to ask you some questions.

James: OK.

Me: How old are you?

James: 7

Me: Have you ever smoked Cigarettes or Cigars?

James: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m to young.

Me: How about tried candy cigarettes or cigars?

James: Yes

Me: Where did you get them?

James: The Wine Shop (He means Tinderbox Vino100 in Columbia)

Me: Which were your favorite?

James: Bubble Gum Cigars.

James: How long have you been chewing Bubble Gum Cigars?

James: 3 years.

Me: Are you an addict?  (At this point I had to explain what that meant)

James: Giggles* Nooooooooooooo!

Time to break out the candy. 

Today we are reviewing two kinds, both by WORLD CONFECTIONS Inc. -

Stallion Bubble Gum

Lucky LIghts Candy  (with the red painted tip)

 

I must admit, the packaging was pretty impressive.  The two boxes both could pass are off-brand European Smokes, one (Lucky Lights Candy Cigarettes) even had a cellophane wrapper.  I guess that is why there was big lettering on the bottom that said CANDY…..to stop Hillbilly Jim from saying “$.25 a PACK!!! I’m buying 100 packs of these”.  I also found it funny there was a blue “Tax Stamp” on each box. 

Finally, for clarity’s sake, I want to specify that nowhere on these boxes does it use the word Cigarette.  Instead, they are labeled CANDY or Bubble Gum respectively.

Let’s continue the interview -

Me:  So tell me James, which one of these boxes looks the most real?

James: (Stallion) Bubble Gum Cigarettes

Takes candy out of the box

Me: Which candy looks the most like a real cigarette ?

James: (Stallion) Bubble Gum Cigarettes.  Can I have one now?

Taste Test (James’ Opinion)

Stallion Bubble Gum - MMMMMMMMMMMMM….Tastes GOOD.  Lots of different flavors: Strawberry, Orange, Grape and Traditional Bubblegum.  James favorite was Grape.

Lucky Lights Candy – Tastes “Dry”.  No flavor, just candy.  Not bad, but not as good as Bubble Gum Cigarettes.

Me:  James, which one was your favorite and would you recommend them to a friend? 

James : Bubble Gum cigarettes. YES!!!!  I wish all the stores sold them.

Me:  James, final question…..does the packaging or candy itself in ANY WAY make you actually want to smoke?

James: NO WAY, that stuff stinks.

                       The Winner is Stallion Bubble Gum!!!!!

 

There you have it folks……definitive PROOF that even though these candies are packaged and designed to look like cigarettes, even children can tell them apart and they don’t feel compelled to smoke.

I know I can sleep easier tonight….but not without a cigar and scotch.

Cheers!

Editors NOTE – There is no website for World Confections Inc. that I can find other than THIS ONE , however I did find a online storefront for them at Candywarehouse.com  (HERE) and right there are the candies in question….and in BULK.  I did laugh at the price disparity between Candy Cigarettes ($6 for 24) vs Bubble Gum Cigarettes ($19.20 for 24)….oh well, I guess you pay for quality :)