Another Laphroaig Cocktail

 

I can’t swear on this one, as it requires some exotic ingredients that I have (nor would I want pay extra for something that just sits around).  Perhaps someone else wants to try it and report back below in the comments section.

Laphroaig Project

1 ounce Green Chartreuse
1/2 ounce (the recipe calls for Laphroaig Quarter Cask, but I used 15-year-old Laphroaig, which worked just fine)
1/2 ounce Luxardo Maraschino Liqueur
1/4 ounce Yellow Chartreuse
1 ounce fresh lemon juice
2 dashes Fee Peach Bitters

Combine all ingredients into a cocktail shaker, fill with ice cubes and shake vigorously. Strain over rocks into a double old-fashioned glass. Garnish with a lemon twist.

http://blogs.creativeloafing.com/dailyloaf/2010/02/26/scotch-on-the-sand-bourbon-branchs-laphroaig-project-whisky-cocktail-recipe/

Tips on tasting whiskey

 

Tips on tasting whisky for the novice drinker:

* Tasting whisky, like wine, is done principally with the nose. As strange as that sounds, 80 per cent of what we perceive as taste actually comes from our sense of smell, however our tongue detects the sensation often referred to as "mouthfeel," or texture of the liquid. Pungency is particularly apparent in very strong spirit, which may sting your nose and tongue and induce numbness. So you have to be careful when nosing whisky at full strength.

* Use a glass with a wide bowl and a narrower opening (like a tulip shaped wine glass but without the stem). This style of glass allows the aromas to be released from the liquid and captures them within the glass thus allowing your nose to really smell the whisky before it dissipates into the air.

* Add a couple of drops of water to release even more aromas from the liquid; this enables your nose and your palate to smell the wonderful layers of subtle characteristics.

The chemical interaction between the water and the alcohol forces the aromas out in the open. The production of many nuances of aromas often indicates a good quality whisky.

* When nosing the whisky (aka smelling), always consider the complexity. You should hold the glass beside your nose on an angle of 45 degrees moving vertically from your nose to your mouth. First, try it with your mouth closed, and then try it again with your mouth open. You should see a big difference. The aromas travel through our mouth to our olfactory receptor cells directly, thus giving us a greater depth of smell.

* Reflect on the finish of the whisky. A good quality whisky will leave a smooth, pleasant and lingering taste, and you will want to take another sip!

I really really really need one of these….Part 2

When I first saw the add HERE, I thought it was just a tongue in cheek joke…..but apparently it is TRUE.

You too can own a TRAINED DRINKING MONKEY (Smoking Optional).

Meet Ai Ai, a 26 year old chimp from China.

The poor animal is currently being forced into rehab because "The beer and cigarettes were ruining him. He would pester passers-by for booze,"

I say we work out a plan to adopt him and bring him to the US as the official Smokes and Booze mascot.  I know if he were here, he would never have to beg….I would give him smokes and booze every day.

I will have to add this to my wish list from Santa.

Whiskey or Water

 

Since the music on American Idol is so bad this year, I was looking for something to listen to today while working on some reports.

I ran across VK Lynne: a bluesy, rock and spiritual singer ….and I came away really impressed.

In particular, I liked her song Whiskey or Water (track 1 below).  I could almost hear her singing along side Shane….and that would be good.

A cross between Melissa Ethridge and Janice, her raspy voice sounds pitch perfect to me (I should be an AI judge) and I could definitely see a few of her songs in a song mix on my iPod.

Give it a listen and comment below.

Ed

http://whiskeyorwater.blogspot.com/

The IOC needs to make up it’s mind

Congratulations to the Canadian Women’s Hockey Team for winning gold last night. 

I hope the ladies enjoy the moment of winning the worlds highest medal in their sport….in their home country.  That has to be an experience to be savored.

Oh course, what does this have to do with Smokes and Booze?

Well, it appears that the players came back out on the ice in the near-empty arena, smoking cigars and swigging champagne and beer.

Oh the HUMANITY.

Now the IOC is upset and “will investigate” because (as Gilbert Felli, the IOC's executive director of the Olympics said)  "I don't think it's a good promotion of sport values”.

Get a life.

This is the same IOC that :

• Had to emergency airlift 8500 MORE Condoms to the Olympic village, because 100,000 was not enough.
• Where the Olympians are given free McDonalds and they hold a McNugget Eating Contest.
• PUBLISHED this quote as part of the press junket
• My name is Odd-Bjoern Hjelmeset. I skied the second lap and I f----- up today. I think I have seen too much porn in the last 14 days. I have the room next to Petter Northhug and every day there is noise in there. So I think that is the reason I f----- up. By the way, Tiger Woods is a really good man.
  -- Norway silver medalist Odd-Bjoern Hjelmeset, on his performance in the men's 4 x 10 relay
• and finally has Vancouver over one BILLION dollars in debt for this Olympics.

Yeah IOC……those are great promotions of sport values. 

Me personally, I say congrats ladies…..if I were there, I would buy you are cigars and beer.  It’s about you, not the image that has already been tarnished.

You call it a Beer Belly, I call it Body Armor

 

I realize that this does go against Rule Number 1 from Zombieland, but there has to be some give and take…..and now we have an example to use in debate.

A PUB boss cheated death in a knife attack — when his BEER BELLY protected his vital organs.

Doctors told Snaz Martin, 43, he was "almost certainly" saved by his midriff after a boozy customer stabbed him with a three-inch blade.

The tubby landlord, who runs the Britannia Inn in Gillingham, Kent, said: "The doctor said I could have died but my organs were protected by a bit of extra fat.

"I'm not massive by any stretch of the imagination - I only weigh 13 stone.

"But I do have a beer belly and they're saying that's what saved me.

"I couldn't believe it when he said my beer belly saved me - all I could do was laugh.

"I was laid up for three days in hospital - the knife just missed my spleen and other organs."

The married dad-of-two was rushed to hospital after the bloody attack last January.

He threw customer Paul Whibley, 24, out of his boozer after the thug pulled a knife in a row with another customer.

Minutes later Whibley returned with the knife and stabbed Snaz.

Snaz said: "I just got between them and kicked him out of the pub.

"I told him I wasn't going to have knives in my pub and to just get out.

"It was around closing time and so I then started to lock up."

Livid Whibley started to kick down the pub door to get at the landlord.

He said: "He just came at me so I pushed him back out the pub and followed him out.

"He hit me and although I didn't feel anything at first I then noticed the blood pumping out.

"The next thing was the ambulance came and I was on my way to hospital."

Whibley, from nearby Snodland, was given a four year prison term last week after pleading guilty to wounding with intent at Canterbury Crown Court.

The thug — who hid his knife under a coat — was branded a "dangerous offender" and "significant threat" to the public by cops.

Detective Contable Sean Wareham, who led the investigation, said: "Whibley showed a clear intent on causing an injury by carrying a knife.

"We are pleased the judge has recognised that Whibley is a dangerous offender and poses a significant risk to the public."

Read more: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2866921/Beer-belly-saves-knifed-mans-life.html#ixzz0gaeWpiHP

Welsh Whisky….is it worth it?

 

Last night, I tried Penderyn Single Malt Welsh Whisky with a Madeira finish.

Penderyn is the only Malt Whisky made in Wales and I picked it up solely for that reason.

As always, I went to the distilleries site prior and learned that Penderyn also has a line of Vodka, Gin and Cream Liquor.  To me, a whiskey drinker….this doesn’t bode well.  “Stick with one thing and do it well” is my motto.

I was also enlightened to the fact that this particular variant was laid up first in bourbon casks (Buffalo Trace) and then finished in Madeira barrels.  Since I like Buffalo Trace, I thought this might be an interesting pairing. 

In addition, I found it interesting that they recommended drinking neat, at 46% abv.  Now I have never been one to shy away from cask strengths….so maybe things were looking up.

COLOR – Very light Golden.  It reminded me of watered down apple juice.

NOSE – White wine, with hints of Apple or Peach liquor

TASTE – Malty with caramel undertones.  Other flavors there, but hard to discern.

FINISH – Honeyed Walnuts with a spicy burn towards the end.

This one is really hard for me to rate.  Everything is there that I would like, but the whisky itself failed to wow me.  To put this in perspective, I was fixing dinner while writing this.  When I returned later, I still had 1/2 a glass sitting…..I was so underwhelmed I forgot about it.  THIS never happens with me.  I feel the distillers could leave this whisky casked longer in both the bourbon and Madeira barrels to add more flavor and color.  In fact, the color is one of the off putting aspects of this one, not only is it light, but the packaging is deceptive….using an open black container to add depth and make the liquid look darker. 

If I were to grade this one out, I would say a C- and recommend something (almost anything) else.  Very disappointing.

Patriotism and Drinking on a Budget

Hey, the economy is down and you can’t always afford to hit the top shelf liquors every time.

In fact, there are days that you just go out and buy a 6-pack of Stag and let it go at that. 

But what about when you are in the mood for some hard liquor and your wallet is a little light?  Well, I might have the answer.

I had seen FRÏS Vodka several times at my local store out here in the sticks.  I kinda passed over it on my way to the bourbons, especially since Vodka is not my thing and I have to be careful what I pour for Debi, or else she gets headaches from the impurities.

Anyway, for Christmas I had gotten her a Vodka Infuser so she could make her own flavored vodkas (That is her own story and maybe she will write about it someday).  After I had bought it, I spoke with Randy from MySideofthebar and found he does vodka infusions…in fact, he wrote about it HERE. 

If you notice in that blog, you can see a bottle of  FRÏS (and Skull Head as well…which I introduced him to).  When I queried him as to whether it was a quality vodka…he replied it is great.  The wheels were moving for me to try some.

A few weeks later, I am back at my local Moser’s and I see FRÏS on the rack again….and it was only $11 a bottle?  What the hell, I grabbed one, only to find out when I got it home…..it was Grape flavored. 

I know what you are saying….wasted money.  But in reality, it was REALLY REALLY GOOD.  This 40% bombshell tasted exactly like grape KoolAid and could be drank straight or on ice (I preferred it cold).  You don’t even realize you are drinking Vodka.  The company is owned by Absolute, and the name FRÏS (pronounced "freeze") comes from Danish words for "frost" and "Ice". Fris Vodka is the only vodka in the world produced with a patented Freeze Distilled process and this is the reason (according to them ) for it’s smooth velvety taste.  In fact, this vodka is so good…it was Awarded a Gold Medal in the San Francisco World Spirits Competition 2 years in a row, 2000 and 2001.

Overall….A C+/B- : A great every-so-often drink.

Now I needed a mixer.

Again I was back at Moser’s (you have no idea how much time I spend there), when I was drawn to a can with an American Flag paint scheme and the words Ol’ Glory on it.

WHAT???

Ol’Glory claims to be “America’s Energy Drink” and comes in 16oz cans……for ONLY $.99 ea, how bad could this be? Of course, vigilant readers of this blog might recall moving day with TommyG and THIS ENTRY. 

But anyway, the can also has the Pledge of Allegiance and Army National Guard Toll Free Number on it……there is no way I could pass this up.

I was almost giddy going home, wondering how well this would mix with my FRÏS Grape Vodka.

Before I mixed it, I took a taste just to see how it was.  Surprisingly, it was comparable with Red bull….although not as heavy on the Taurine.  It was actually a workable substitute.

Here is the drink -

Red, White and WOW

2oz FRÏS Grape Vodka

4oz Ol’ Glory

Grenadine

Pour the FRÏS and the Ol’ Glory in a shaker with ice and mix well.

Pour into a tall glass over crushed ice and drizzle with grenadine.

Give it a try and let me know your opinions……I’m biased since I invented it :) 

I know after drinking 3 of these……I was singing this song…

 

Finally, all joking aside….Ol’ Glory was a great mixer (IMO) and when I was researching for this post, I found out that a portion of every purchase goes towards Operation Homefront, a great cause.  You can read about that on their website HERE.  For the price, it blows the doors off of Red bull and you get 16oz per can vs the 8.4oz in Red Bull.  When you are drinking on a budget, it’s those little things that really count….and for that, I salute you Ol’ Glory.

Until next time ….Cheers.

Cobra Commander….a Beer Review

Ok, the name of the beer isn’t Cobra Commander….it’s just plain Cobra, but I couldn’t resist.

Anyway, while on this last trip to London, I had a chance to have some Indian food near our hotel at Euston Station.  I was totally indifferent to which Indian restaurant we went to (it’s all the same right?), however Debi found out from the Hotel Bar (bars…is there anything they cannot do?) that there was a local place that was really good.

After a brisk walk and passing 5-6 other Indian restaurants, we soon found ourselves at the Shah Tandoori Restaurant .

The food there was great, and a huge thanks to Simon for guiding Debi and I through the menu (to bad they didn’t have any “Flall”).

I know, this site is about Smokes and Booze, and not to disappoint…I will review the beer they had in bottle there: Cobra Premium Lager.  Think about that for a minute……if you are male, doesn’t that sound cool to say?  Give me a Cobra please.  I almost wanted to put on some sunglasses, throw a match in my mouth and think about Brigitte Neilson. 

Uuugh, I digress….back to the story, Cobra Premium Lager comes in an large (660ml) embossed bottle (props to presentation) and is a blend of barley malt and yeast with hops and the unique addition of maize and rice thrown in.  An alcohol rating of  with 5% abv doesn’t hurt as well.

How did it taste?  I thought it paired excellently with the spicy Indian cuisine.  The beer had a distinctive and extra smooth taste. It was a balance of fullness and bitterness that offset well the various (and overwhelming) spicy foods .

I found the beer to be an outstanding lager, full and somewhat hoppy, with strong fruit hints (I got figs with mine) on both the nose and the finish.

I know, next time I go for Indian….I have high expectations from the bar, Cobra set them.

Now I just have to keep from yelling………Yoooooooooooo Joe!

Here is a commercial from Cobra to close us out.  What makes this commercial even funnier is the “Spy” Simon and I ran into at the hotel bar after this.  If you are in London, a stop at Shah (on Drummond Street) is highly recommended.  Order a Cobra for me :)

Bottoms Up.

I really really really need one of these…….

A Monkey on my back (a whiskey review)

While in London, we stopped by The Whiskey Shop,  near St. Paul’s Cathedral.  The shop is tucked back in an alley, and one that I’ve wanted to visit for some time.  The shop is great and I would I highly recommend stopping by while there.

Anyway, while there, I picked out several bottles to bring back and the first to be reviewed is Monkey Shoulder.

I will admit, my eye was initially caught by the marketing….with a name like Monkey Shoulder jumping right out at me.  A further saying on the bottle, “Don’t be a drunken monkey, drink responsibly” further convinced me that this bottle would be MINE.

I was glad none of the bottles broke in transit, especially this one…..the coveted first review.

Monkey Shoulder is a small batch blended Scotch from three Speyside whiskeys (I would love to know which ones), that is then matured in bourbon casks prepared and maintained by their own coopers (a dyeing art).

The actual maturation and cask selection appears to be a pretty guarded secret (aren’t they all these days) and only two people are involved in the selection of the 27 casks used for each blended batch.

Their website is actually really nice, although a little “Flash-tastic” for my tastes.  This caused some load delays, but returning to the site 10 minutes later improved performance.

At the site, you can; get a little background, learn about events and see some of their recipes for mixed drinks.  Not being one to use scotch as a mixer (aside from the Islay Margarita), I initially gave this only a quick glance…..but after tasting, I might give a Monkey Manhattan a try at a future date.

So, I am sure you are wondering…….how was the drink.

I tried it two different ways, neat and splashed with water.

NOSE – Both with and without water, the nose carried a scent of caramel with orange overtones.  I was reminded of those chocolate oranges you get every year at Christmas (with only a hint of dark chocolate).  When splashed with water, the nose became a little more subdued….smoother (if a scent can become “smooth”).

Color– The color reminded me of the Clover Honey my parents raised when I was a child, and the whiskey didn’t have any “legs” on the glass like some of the “heavier” whiskeys (such as Balvenie) and was instead very smooth in the glass.

TASTE – I was caught somewhat off guard by the initial sweetness of the drink (Honey),  and overall it was very smooth and creamy.  There were
notes of smoke and oakyness, but nowhere as pronounced as some of the peat-bombs I normally drink.  

FINISH – The finish was very smooth, almost melting down the back of my throat , with a hint of sea salt and lingering fruityness (orange again). 

Splashed water brings out the caramel in the tasting, smoothes some of the rough spots (bringing it into the range of some non-scotch drinker palettes) and (IMO) brings out the fruityness.  I actually got a hint of coconut this way.

Overall I was really impressed with this blend and would highly recommend it to to anyone (even non-scotch drinkers….I’m looking at you Charlie). 

If I were to rate it, I would give it a B+

As an added bonus, it appears they have sponsored one of my favorite bands, the Red Hot Chili Pipers, and have a video of them on their website.  That is always a plus.

I have included a YouTube of the band to maybe get you in the mood for a scotch tonight.

Until next time….Cheers

8 Manly Drinks that every guy must try

Thanks to Crash for sending over THIS LINK to the “8 Manly Drinks that every guy must try”.

Now, I won’t copy the article verbatim, but shall instead do what the article didn’t do, crosslink each on on the list so you too can learn about them yourselves.

8 Jefferson’s Reserve Bourbon

7 Legacy’s Euphoria Ale (Caution….Dead Link)

6 Sauza Hornitos Tequila – Neat website, one of the few where you input a date and it didn’t take July 4th 1776 as a valid birthday.  I was also caught off guard by the sliding peephole. 

5 Spiced Rum with Apple Cider – Link is to a video on how to make…after watching, I have no idea how this made the “Manly List”

4 Manhattan – Link to the recipe

3 Knappogue Castle

2 Grimbergen – The only beer on the list.  The site is in Belgian and French…no English.  Does this mean we can’t get it in the US?

1 Laphroaig Scotch – Of course the NUMBER 1 Manly Drink is my favorite Scotch. 

The Highland Margarita

I was going to append this to my How to Celebrate Margarita Day, but then thought...hell no! Anything called a Highland Margarita deserves it's own thread.

Cheers

Highland Margarita recipe

1 1/2 oz Tequila
1/2 oz Grand Marnier orange liqueur
1/2 oz Laphroiag Scotch whisky
sweet and sour mix

Pour the tequila, Grand Marnier, Drambuie and sour mix (to taste) into a cocktail shaker half-filled with ice cubes. Shake well. Pour into a salt-rimmed margarita glass, garnish with a slice of lime, and serve.

How to celebrate Margarita Day

Happy Margarita Day!

Who knew? I didn't. I figured Margarita Day would have been around the 4th of May.

Here are some ways to help celebrate....although I will probably stick to the classic.



CLICK HERE

Part of the London Trip

I really do enjoy London.  To walk the historic streets and imagining what it was like 100, 200 or even 300 years prior.

This time, my enjoyment was compounded by this being Debi’s first trip abroad.  So I got to be “Tour Guide”.

As part of our tour, I wanted to take her to St. Paul’s Cathedral.  What woman could resist seeing the place where Lady Di was married?  Although I did have ulterior motives.

You see, the area around St. Paul’s has some of my favorite pubs in London…and it makes for a great Masonic Walk as well.

Getting off the Tube at St Paul’s Station, instead of heading straight for the Cathedral, instead head down Patemoster Row, where you will find a most excellent store…The Whiskey Shop.

At The Whiskey Shop, you will find almost anything your heart desires…..and I brought home some samples that I will be reviewing later (Penderyn, Big Peat and Monkey Shoulder).  The shop is smaller than I expected, but then again…this is London, and I imagine real-estate is quite expensive. That being said, the staff seemed friendly and answered the few questions I had….so next time I swing through, it will call for another stop.  :)

From Pratemoster, you continue 50 or so meters to where the walkway T’s and you will turn left on Cathedral Steps….getting your first glimpse of St. Paul’s. 

As you approach, you are actually walking into the area which was formally known as St. Paul’s Churchyard…and the location of the Goose and Gridiron Pub, meeting place of the first Grand Lodge in 1717.  There is a Blue Plate to commemorate the spot just north of the large steps at the front of St. Paul’s.

Before I continue the tour, an interesting factiod about St. Paul’s.  The lightning rod for the cathedral was surveyed, designed and installed by none other than Benjamin Franklin….brother Freemason to Christopher Wren, the designer.

As you look West down Ludgate Hill into Fleet Street, you see some great architecture and landmarks-

Temple Bar

The Old Bailey

Old Bell Tavern (pub frequented by the masons who built St. Paul’s)

just to name a few.

Our next stop though is by far, one of my favorites…..Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese.

The Cheshire Cheese dates back to the 16th century and the board on display outside lists fifteen monarchs whose reigns it has survived. The interior is dark and wooden, and I have never made it past the small taproom on the right as soon as you come in.  Not due to lack of want, but instead because of how captivating the room is.  The small ground floor bar room is decorated with black timber, including the paneled ceiling. An open fire gives the room a special atmosphere. The portrait above the fireplace is that of a waiter who began to work at the Cheshire Cheese in 1829.  Regulars at this bar include; Voltaire, Charles Dickens, Mark Twain, Alfred Tennyson and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.  The pub is even mentioned in a Tale of Two Cities. 

I will also add….the beer of choice here is Samual Smith’s, of which I prefer the stout, who’s combination of burnt coffee and nuttyness rivals Guinness (yes I said it).

Heading back out to Fleet Street and again turning west, you head about three blocks and find an archway on the south side of the street, a shortcut to Temple Church.   I will add, Debi spotted this (I was going to go down to the Thames and come in from another direction), although I think it was due to her being tired of walking :P

Temple Church is the famous Round Church of the Knights Templar, made famous by Dan Brown in the Da Vinci Code.  Sadly, it is closed on Mondays….so I will have to take Debi back again sometime (it really is impressive).

With just this quick walk, you can see how quickly you can be immersed in history….and that is the way London is.  A fabulous city where small courtyards, archways and alleys lead to the unexpected.  I know Debi is excited (and wants to move there), and I can only eagerly await my next trip.

Politically Incorrect Booze Ads

 

Ahhhh….the good old days.  Some of these are pretty funny (I am particularly fond of the last one) and I doubt very few of them could run today. 

 

 

 

 

Whiskey Toothpaste?????

What???  I want this product sooooooooooooo bad.   I wonder what it does for a breathalyzer?

Countdown to fun

Today is the last day of work for me (although I will probably work a partial UK Hour set on Friday) until Tuesday.

Starting Friday, I am taking Debi for a weekend in Paris and then over to London for a few days while I attend a workshop with my UK Team.

I know she is really excited and is looking forward to the trip, and I have to admit…this has got to be a better trip than the last time I was in Paris.

So Posts might be few and far between next week, but I plan on updating as much as possible….including via Twitter (to which there is a feed on the right ----------> ).

Follow along as we sample some Wines, Beers and whatever else comes our way (hopefully Absinthe).

And until I return to the US…..Cheers.

I leave you with a fitting picture CT sent me this morning……

Friends of Laphroaig

Ok, I am a shill for free stuff.  If a company wants to send me swag, I am more than willing to stand on my head to get it. 

From the Free Tasting Kit from Killian’s, to everything that Maker’s Mark sends with their Ambassador program…..I dig that stuff.

This weekend, I noticed the little flier for “Friends of Laphroaig” in my whiskey tube, so I checked it out.

First, the flier itself is pretty good…with tasting notes and a little history.  But what really caught my eye…

FREE YOUR OWN SQUARE FOOT OF ISLAY

I was hooked.

Logging onto Laphroaig’s site was easy, and clicking the “Friends” tab brought you to the right area.  Here you have to put in the UPC symbol from the tube and a little personal information from and that was it. 

I was a land owner.

I have even reached out to my “Neighbors” to see if we can expand Smokes and Booze even further.

In addition to the above, every time you buy a bottle of Laphroaig, the same pamphlet I mentioned earlier has a unique code.  Put that code in and you get 10 point.  Accumulate points…..get prizes.  So not only do I get to drink my favorite booze, but I get a reward for it as well.

Man……I love this company.

I guess you shouldn't sell beer in a museum

How else does a drunken man get there?

On this day in history, February 7, 1845, the Portland Vase was shattered by William Lloyd, who drunkenly threw a nearby sculpture on top of the case smashing both it and the vase. The vase was pieced together with fair success, though the restorer was unable to replace all of the pieces and thirty-seven small fragments were lost. It appears they had been put into a box and forgotten.

How to light a cigarette

How to light a cigarette with an AK-47. Man, this is right up there with using a 3-Drawer Chest to open beer.

My first interview…….James

As many of you know…I have the worlds greatest son, James.

For Christmas, Santa brought the family a box of retro candy (also found HERE on Amazon).  Contained therein were Candy Cigarettes, plus bubble gum cigars and cigarettes.

James got hold of the bubblegum cigar in the flash of an eye (he is my son), but I was able to snatch up the others for a later date when they would be more memorable.

Me: Good evening James, I’m going to ask you some questions.

James: OK.

Me: How old are you?

James: 7

Me: Have you ever smoked Cigarettes or Cigars?

James: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m to young.

Me: How about tried candy cigarettes or cigars?

James: Yes

Me: Where did you get them?

James: The Wine Shop (He means Tinderbox Vino100 in Columbia)

Me: Which were your favorite?

James: Bubble Gum Cigars.

James: How long have you been chewing Bubble Gum Cigars?

James: 3 years.

Me: Are you an addict?  (At this point I had to explain what that meant)

James: Giggles* Nooooooooooooo!

Time to break out the candy. 

Today we are reviewing two kinds, both by WORLD CONFECTIONS Inc. -

Stallion Bubble Gum

Lucky LIghts Candy  (with the red painted tip)

 

I must admit, the packaging was pretty impressive.  The two boxes both could pass are off-brand European Smokes, one (Lucky Lights Candy Cigarettes) even had a cellophane wrapper.  I guess that is why there was big lettering on the bottom that said CANDY…..to stop Hillbilly Jim from saying “$.25 a PACK!!! I’m buying 100 packs of these”.  I also found it funny there was a blue “Tax Stamp” on each box. 

Finally, for clarity’s sake, I want to specify that nowhere on these boxes does it use the word Cigarette.  Instead, they are labeled CANDY or Bubble Gum respectively.

Let’s continue the interview -

Me:  So tell me James, which one of these boxes looks the most real?

James: (Stallion) Bubble Gum Cigarettes

Takes candy out of the box

Me: Which candy looks the most like a real cigarette ?

James: (Stallion) Bubble Gum Cigarettes.  Can I have one now?

Taste Test (James’ Opinion)

Stallion Bubble Gum - MMMMMMMMMMMMM….Tastes GOOD.  Lots of different flavors: Strawberry, Orange, Grape and Traditional Bubblegum.  James favorite was Grape.

Lucky Lights Candy – Tastes “Dry”.  No flavor, just candy.  Not bad, but not as good as Bubble Gum Cigarettes.

Me:  James, which one was your favorite and would you recommend them to a friend? 

James : Bubble Gum cigarettes. YES!!!!  I wish all the stores sold them.

Me:  James, final question…..does the packaging or candy itself in ANY WAY make you actually want to smoke?

James: NO WAY, that stuff stinks.

                       The Winner is Stallion Bubble Gum!!!!!

 

There you have it folks……definitive PROOF that even though these candies are packaged and designed to look like cigarettes, even children can tell them apart and they don’t feel compelled to smoke.

I know I can sleep easier tonight….but not without a cigar and scotch.

Cheers!

Editors NOTE – There is no website for World Confections Inc. that I can find other than THIS ONE , however I did find a online storefront for them at Candywarehouse.com  (HERE) and right there are the candies in question….and in BULK.  I did laugh at the price disparity between Candy Cigarettes ($6 for 24) vs Bubble Gum Cigarettes ($19.20 for 24)….oh well, I guess you pay for quality :)