Best invention EVER

 

We’ve all been there, patting our pockets…searching for the opener to get that bottle of Sam Adams open.  We have used alternatives such as lighters (a must have skill), 3-Drawer Chests (only military people will get that one) or even our teeth (which I can still do)….but it always remains the same, why can’t I find a damn bottle opener.

Well, two CA men have found the solution.  Almost everyone has a dog….so why not put that money pit to a good use.

The simple, yet effective, answer was to attach the opener to the collar via a retractable cord. 

Ingenious. 

Now maybe Ella won’t be so damn annoying.

I ordered mine today.

BARK FOR BEER

Merry Christmas to All

Merry Christmas to everyone from the Smokes and Booze Staff.

Christmas time is that special part of the year where we reflect, allow the kids to run wild and there never seems to be a lack of Booze.

Nothing says Tradition like a Christmas Cocktail  :)

I want to extend my personal wishes to everyone and I hope 2010 brings tons of Beer, Booze and Smokes to everyone.

Also, special shout out to Randy(http://mysideofthebar.blogspot.com/) and Tom (Days of Booze)…..my blog brothers.  Take a peek at what they are musing about, its almost always funny….but definitely worth the read.

I close with one of the greatest Christmas Songs every, sung by a true Troubadour and Drunkared…..

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies

 

Sent to me from Jason D.

I might have to make these tonight :P

Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies

• 1 tsp baking soda
• 1 cup of sugar
• 1 tsp salt
• 1 cup or brown sugar
• 4 large eggs
• 1 cup nuts
• 2 cups of dried fruit
• 1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila

Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl,

Check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality,

Pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter

In a large fluffy bowl.

Add one peastoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point

it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still ok, try another

Cup just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup

Of dried fruit.

Pick the frigging fruit off the floor.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaters just pry

It loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who geeves

A sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can

Find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall

Over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the

Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the wishdasher.

Cherry Mistmas !

Our Christmas Party

 

I’m not going to go into to many details (to protect the innocent), but it was a great party this year.

He’Brew Jewbelation, setting a vodka bottle on fire, a horse, Absinthe Shots (vs drinking the 138 Proof stuff the way it is supposed to be drank), Porcelain Gods and a lump on my head the next morning.

I will share a slight conversation I had this afternoon -

Ed says:
I think our downfall was the 32 oz beers at 13%
Charles says:
Could be...
Damn Jewish beer...
Ed says:
stupid us to drink Jewish beer on Christmas
Charles says:
LOL
Ed says:
throw in the French Absinthe (at what proof?) as shots vs mixed
we were headed to oblivion
Charles says:
138 proof
Ed says:
yeah.....we were doomed
Charles says:
There are 5 levels of drinking...6 if you live in a trailer park.  We were at level 7.

This is to be followed by  Larry Miller and the 5 Levels of Drinking.

Enjoy  and Merry Christmas (if I don’t post between now and then)

FIRE AT THE GUINNESS FACTORY

Quick, call out the UN. Send Humanitarian Aide. Declare a National Day of Mourning.

Oooooooh the Humanity!!!


Article HERE

Vodka vs Bourbon

Interesting Article HERE, but I have to disagree.

The worst hangover I ever had was a Vodka one. Now granted, it was cheap cheap CHEAP well Vodka, but it was Vodka none the less.

Also, I wonder where they get the funding for these studies. I could have told you that its the particulates that cause headaches.....and I dont have a PhD.

Of course, no body asked me to participate in the study....man, getting paid $450 to get drunk sounds pretty close to being the greatest job EVER.

Oh well, maybe next time.

Facebook and a Funny Story

It seems like every time I add someone on Facebook, it leads to memories involving drinking.

Today I added two friends from my past….who both got DUIs with me being directly involved. I’ll call them Mr. Tree and Mr. Candy to protect the innocent.

Back in the day, I used to travel a lot with my company (ManTech and Raytheon) , often to worldwide garden spots such as Somalia, Goma or Zagreb.

The way most of those trips started would involve me traveling to Vint Hill Farms VA for either training or briefings prior to departure. During that time I would stay in Manassas.

I won’t delve into Mr. Candy’s DUI (because that took place in DC while we were doing Cisco Training), but I do want to relate a two stories of him an I drinking and his driving antics.

The first involves us going drinking one night, Ruby Tuesday’s was our favorite, and Chris dropping me back at the hotel. I get back to my room, hear a car making noise and look out my window to see Mr. Candy driving off with Christmas Lights trailing behind his car. Apparently, in his drunken stupor, he had decided he wanted the ones from the hotel….so he hooked them to the bumper and drove off. It was one of the funniest things I had seen. It was even funnier the next day when his wife made him take them back.

The second story involves a white Grand Am that was my rental car. It was actually pretty cool (for the early 90’s) and we were cruising up “the strip” of Manassas (if I recall correctly, we were heading to Red Hot and Blue) to a bar. Mr. Candy asked if he could drive to check out the car…….and the next thing I know, he is rear-ending a car.

Imagine two guys crapping their pants.

Mr. Candy was able to talk the guy out of calling the cops, saying he would pay for everything himself to keep his insurance rates down (while the guy freaked us out with his FBI ID and saying he didnt know if his mother would be happy with this). So no cops arrived.

But we still had a problem with what to do about my rental. I had an idea.

We went back to the Hotel and called the company Security Manager, Duffy Miller, to come drinking with us. Duffy had visited me in Germany and I knew he loved to drink off my Per Diem.

After Duffy agreed to meet us at the hotel, I backed the car into a space and Chris and I waited for him in the hotel bar.

Duffy arrived and we had a few beers in the bar and decided it was time to jump to the next bar.

Walking out in parking lot, Duffy was parked next to the car (on the opposite side of the damage) and I said “Holy Crap, someone hit the parked car"!”.

Of course, everyone at ManTech believed the story….we had the Security Guy right there to vouch we hadnt been drinking and driving….but later in life, I think Duffy KNEW something was up.

Maybe next time I will go into Mr. Tree’s DUI or Mr. Candy and I drinking yards of beer.

Post your favorite Ed Drunk stories in the comments section below.

An Ad for Alby

Ok, finally I found something Alby can smoke.

The Shining (Part 2), Christmas drink and the coolest bar I’ve seen

 

So, we were watching the Shining tonight.  It’s one of my favorite movies and has even made an appearance in this blog BEFORE.

My attention was called to the second scene in the bar (preceding the “Bathroom Scene"…I cant find a vid of bar one, but the liquor is mentioned there) where Jack meets Delbert Grady.  Grady runs into him and spills a tray of drinks.  He refers to it as Advocaat and the name piqued my interest.

Advocaat (or advokat) is a rich and creamy liqueur made from eggs, sugar and brandy. It has a smooth, custard-like flavor. In English-speaking countries it generally contains 15% alcohol (30 proof), but in Continental Europe the typical alcohol content differs from country to country and is generally somewhere between 14% and 20% ABV. Its contents may be a blend of egg yolks, aromatic spirits, sugar or honey, brandy, vanilla and sometimes cream (or evaporated milk).

Apparently it was once produced by Bols, but their website doesn't list it.  It can however be found here.

I also found a homemade recipe and I might try to make a batch for a kickoff drink at SantaCon 2009.

Recipe

• 5 egg yolks
• 100 gicing sugar, sieved
• ½ tspvanilla extract
• 300 g cream
• 250 ml whisky

Cream well the egg yolks, sugar and vanilla. Slowly mix in the cream. Then mix in the whisky.
Refrigerate for 12 hours. Shake well before use. The liqueur stays fresh in the fridge for 2 weeks.

Also, while tooling around the web, I came across an article on what I think is the coolest bar in the world.

Several years ago, Alby introduced me to H.R. Giger as an artist by his copy of the Necromicon. Later, we all learned to love him for his design of the set pieces and aliens for the Movie ALIEN (and the various sequels).  Actually, I think I knew the movie ALIEN first, but I never put it together until much later who did the design.

Anyway, he also designed the bar in his museum in Switzerland.  If you are a Sci-Fi or Horror fan…..it has to be seen to be believed.

Here’s the link……….Incredible.  Who’s up for a road trip?

 

Put Rumple Minze on the Christmas Tree

As you may know, I have been struggling with bad cold the last week.  I’ve done bourbon, hot toddies and beer to ease the scratching in my throat.   Yes the drink was strictly for medicinal purposes :P.

While walking through my local Mosier’s, I spotted something that looked like fun.  Rumple Minze.

Rumple Minze started at an early age for me…….probably around 7 or 8.  Not with me drinking it, but instead seeing the add in issues of my Dad’s Playboys.  You might recall it, the armored woman on a polar bear.

The Taste Beyond Bold.

As I moved into my teenage years, and started gaming, that image solidified for me what a woman warrior should look like…..on a polar bear.

I didn’t learn what it tasted like until I was at Ft. Devens.  You remember those heady years where you really start to investigate drinking.  I was at a party for our graduating class and we had someone over 21 go into the Class 6 Store.  I wanted Cpt. Morgan’s Spiced Rum (another marketing gem that set my expectations of Pirates) and my friend wanted  “Peppermint Schnapps”.   At the party I tried it, and was immediately hooked on it’s sticky sweetness….the candy cane flavor.   I was still to novice in the ways of hard drinking to realize the advantage of no hangover in the morning too.

Flash forward to me in Germany a few months later.  By then, I was an accomplished drinker……versed in the ways of beer and bourbon.  While I wasn’t an expert on quality, I definitely knew quantity.

In a bar in Germany, I decided to order a Schnapps….I thought, what the hell….I had had it before. 

Let’s just say, German Schnapps is not the candied liquor that Americans drink.  Instead it is gasoline with a little bit of flavor (if you ever had Rocktopus…..you would see colors shimmering on top, just like gasoline in a puddle). 

So, I was now officially OFF the schnapps bandwagon.

Now here we are, 20 years later and nostalgic memories of D&D Erotica, Military Service and a crappy sore throat collide at a rural grocery store in MO.

So how was it?  Nirvana. 

Next year, I am going to find miniature bottles of this to replace the candy canes on the Christmas tree.  They would be more than an adequate substitute.

The smooth taste covers the fact that this is 100 Proof liquor and alcohol has a great soothing effect. 

The peppermint isn't overwhelming and the only way I can describe it is “Candy in a Bottle”.

I wouldn't drink it every day, but it worth the $18 I paid……especially since (as I noted earlier) there was no hangover the next like I normally get from the sweet liquors.

50th Blog Post and a Contest

Well...I never thought I would get here. I figured I would get bored with blogging (you should see my work blog) and give it up.

Instead, I have had fun with writing about something I enjoy.

In chatting with Randy today, he gave me an idea.

To commemorate the occasion of the 50th Post, we will have a contest. Just go into the comments section and post the oddest name of a pub you have been to. Links are appreciated.

The prize is currently secret, but pretty cool.

Post away, and thanks for reading.